Terry

I want to apologize to you Terry, Colin Firth was scheduled to say a few words this morning, but his flight was delayed. 

Good Morning everyone, on behalf of Sue and Greg, I want to thank you for coming today.  My name is Chris Shively, I am Sue's husband and the father of two of Terry's grandchildren.

Eight months after I was married, my own mom died. But I was lucky, Terry stepped in and filled the role of my mom in more ways than I ever imagined.  Through Sue, I learned how to fold towels and sheets properly (just kidding, I still can't do it right). 

As I reflect on the 15 years that I knew her, two words come to mine that I connect with Terry, food and family; these two words go together, they are not separate.  It is a shame that I meet more and more people who do not take the time or find it necessary to enjoy food with their family.  When Sue and I spent time with Terry, the dinners she made were celebrations, not just spaces of time to fill our bellies.  You could "taste" the love she put into her cooking.  Sue and I keep wondering why our food does not taste like hers, even though we follow the recipes (which are in her head).  I think I have finally figured it out, it is not the pans, as we thought, we may be out of luck now Sue.

When Greg and Holly or Aunt Marie and Uncle Bob came for visits, the week before used to be filled with food prep. anxiety.  What do you think they will want, how am I going to get to the store, etc. Sue would try to tell Terry that they don't care if she makes something (but secretly, you must have been looking forward to Shrimp Creole, Sauce or ...), they just wanted to be with her.  Our coaxing never had any effect, it just frustrated us. Finally we realized that cooking was her gift to those she loved, and we should try to help her with ideas, instead of trying to thwart her efforts.  If you have someone in your life who likes to cook, and the food tastes good, let them cook for you - food, family and friends - what more do you need?  Terry understood this, she passed this ideal on to Greg and Sue and I hope that Sue can pass it on to Bryce and Brooke.

One of the most beautiful aspects of the human mind, is the ability to retrieve memories.  Each one of you was touched by Terry, and can add to these few memories I want to share with you.  This list of memories are simple, but precious to me, some are quotes that I am going to paraphrase and some are memories - but they all involve food and family. Not in any particular order.

1. Terry saying to me, Christopher I am ready for some wine!
2. Susan ... (Sue, you fill in the rest) or Gregory Kincaid (fill in the rest)  - it is the tone of the voice
   
3. This is on the QT - one of my favorites
   
4. Pig Latin - I could never figure out what she and Sue were talking about - she would ask Sue if my kids wanted milk in pig latin - not sure why?
   
5. Hey Cheech - when Greg would call or come to visit
   
6. Bobo - when speaking affectionately to Uncle Bob
7. The smile she would get on her face when Aunt Marie called
   
8. The conversation I had with her on the way down to Chris and Doreen Hughes' wedding - I don't remember what we spoke about, but it was just she and I for the whole trip
9. Terry's story about Sue under the ginnup tree in Panama
10. Walking in to Terry's apartment and having some old movie on where I recognized no one and she knew every actor and actress
11. Luciano playing in the background while we ate, drank and shared life
12. Add your own memories for a moment or two

And tell last thoughts from my kids: Brookey said to me the other day - Now your mom can talk to Grandma Terry in heaven (I hope Terry does not tell her anything bad that I have done lately).  Granmda Terry, Bryce wanted you to know that you made the best ung-yockies ever. 

I want to raise my glass to you Terry and thank you for being a part of my life.

Salute


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- chris